Spinster-in-Training

My pronouns are John/Jacob/Jingleheimer Schmidt

If you struggle with self-care and see this, stop what you’re doing

rosecoveredtardis:

  • Have you eaten in the last 4ish hours?
  • Have you had something to drink today?
  • Can you have something, even if just milk or water or cup’o’noodles or toast with something yummy on it, if you haven’t, please? 
  • If you have any injuries, can you please take care of them for me
  • Also please take any meds if you should and haven’t, yet?

Whatever you have or haven’t done today just know you’re super strong and I am so proud of you

Okay you can go back to blogging now~ <3

(via respexual)

gaydiationpoisoning:

"genderweird"

congrats on occupying the nebulous space known as ‘complex human being’; please stop acting like being neither a Barbie Doll nor a G.I. Joe makes you that interesting.

(via radicalfeministuprising)

Anonymous said: What are the signs of emotional abuse?

mental-health-advice:

Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.

Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

Love, Salem

Note

I’m going to be away from Friday through Sunday afternoon/evening.

lotofwater:

Sexism is a social disease. Our disease.

lotofwater:

Sexism is a social disease.
Our disease.

(via respexual)

tamorapierce:

problackgirl:

Don’t date men who disrespect women, doesn’t matter if he’s nice to you. If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, nah.

If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, he’ll get around to you sooner or later.

(via respexual)

unfrickable:

do not sexualize young girls.
yes, I am kink shaming you. 
because you should be ashamed of yourself
for sexualizing young girls, and
no one’s sexual liberation is more important
than protecting young girls.

(via hedonisticparadise)

Havelock Ellis was especially significant in the development of these sexological ideas about women’s appropriate role in heterosexuality (Jackson, 1994). Indeed, many of his assumptions about human sexuality, including the understanding that heterosexuality and coitus are underpinned by biological imperatives, can still be found in more modern sexological literature (D’Emilio & Freedman, 1988; Jackson, 1987; Nicolson, 1993).

As a result of his conviction that coitus was a “natural” act, those lacking the biological urge to participate in it were deemed by Ellis to be “abnormal” and most likely adversely affected by the “distortions of modern society” (Weeks, 1989). Ellis then used this theory of social distortion to explain women’s common disinterest in coitus (he had found in his own research that significant numbers of women displayed an aversion to coitus). He did not feel that women’s disinterest was natural or inevitable, but rather a conditioned response which could and should be overcome. Under this new sexological model, women who disliked coitus became labelled as abnormal.

By the 1920s, the concept of the frigid woman had become highly influential within the discipline of sexology and frigidity was the dominant way that women’s disinterest in coitus was understood (Jeffreys, 1990). As the concept of the frigid woman became a staple of sexological literature, it also entered popular consciousness (Jackson, 1994). The consolidation of the sexological model was accompanied by claims that the illness of frigidity was rampant amongst the female population: “From the 1920s through to the 1940s, medical reports estimate that frigidity afflicted anywhere from 25 percent to 75 percent of American women” (Hoberman, 2005, p. 89). Through the deployment of this concept of frigidity, sexology, in its foundational years, began to define the majority of women as fundamentally sexually abnormal.

Feminist theorists have since suggested, however, that the concept of the frigid woman served as a powerful tool of social control which effectively pressured women into “adjusting themselves to men’s sexual behaviour…” (Jeffreys, 1985, p. 164).

Indeed, Margaret Jackson (1994) argues that far from promoting women’s sexual rights, the sexological model of sexuality pioneered by Ellis and his contemporaries tended to function as a way to coerce women into heterosexuality and marriage. Furthermore, the notion of the frigid woman served to restrict women’s ability to choose whether or not to engage in coitus. Rather than being seen as a decision not to participate, refusal of coitus became an illness.

—   Meagan Tyler, Selling Sex Short: The Pornographic and Sexological Construction of Women’s Sexuality in the West, 2011. (via insufficientmind)

(via plansfornigel)

womensliberationfront:

Liberal vs. Radical Feminism on gender, in a nutshell.

In her book, “Against Our Will”, Susan Brownmiller has a chapter where she looks at what happens to men who are raped in prison. The answer: they often become “feminine” - masochistic, “soft”, delicate etc.

Femininity is internalized abuse. It is the psychology and disposition of a masochist. It is ritualized submission.

It is seen as clearly pathological and unhealthy when manifested in men - those human beings who matter, who are entitled to real dignity. When manifested in women, it is considered “natural” - a reflection of what women really, innately are.

Abolish gender. Women and girls deserve nothing less.

(via hedonisticparadise)

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

—   

Douglas Adams

this quote was literally in my sociology book 

(via marinashutup)

(via baronvonblitz)